Grave Mistake

"Are you folks ever bothered by those telephone solicitors?" starts the performer with a grin. "Last week, some guy called me up wanting to chat about pre-planning my funeral! Can you believe that? I'm not scared of kicking the bucket; I just don't want to get a front-row seat when it happens," he quips. "Well, I made a grave mistake and let the dude set up a meeting. He swung by my place and had the whole shebang 'laid out'."

With a flourish, the performer unveils a massive (25" wide by 38" tall) sheet featuring an embossed casket adorned with an Austrian carved canopy and those fancy French velvet drapes. He chuckles, "This guy says, 'Look, we can give you this beautiful casket for only $190,000.' I told him, that's way more than my budget allows." With a mischievous smile, he folds down the top part of the sheet, bidding farewell to the fancy canopy.

"He didn’t miss a beat: 'No problem, we can ditch the Austrian canopy and offer you these stunning French velvet drapes with the casket for just $140,000.' I replied, 'Still too rich for my blood.' Another fold, and poof! The velvet drapes are history.

"Then, this guy, relentless as ever, says, 'Alright, I can cut the French velvet and just give you this gorgeous German embossed casket for a mere $7,000.' And I go, 'Nah, still too pricey for my taste.' With one final fold, he makes the last piece vanish.

"That's when the guy says he's got just what I need." And the sheet reveals a giant trash can!

• A ridiculously fun and entertaining routine
• Packs small but unfolds to impress any crowd
• Made from tough Tyvex materials, this comedy prop is built to endure